Man dont you just hate it? When you feel like everyone is just leaving! Going away? Like it doesnt even hurt to do that! I mean then there is you… Hanging onto everybody or anybody that comes into your life..! You let them take all of you.. And just like that in a flash they are just gone! Its like you have to take a bullet for every person you meet and by the end of the day.. There you are with all the wounds, just dying.

You’ve heard those poems,

Where they say they can’t contemplate,

Their significant other into words, 

Because 26  words are just way too less.

I guess, I know that feeling now,

Ever since I met you, ever since I memorized the curves of your face,

When I memorized the sound of your voice,

The different expressions you make,

the mole on you’re chin.

Everything, its not 26 words that aren’t enough,

Its the millions of words they create that still aren’t enough,

To just contemplate, contemplate him, they’re never enough. 

You know what loving some one your not supposed to love is like? Like drinking alcohol, you know you’re not supposed to be doing it, and you know it’s bad for you and the outcome will be awfully bad. But you do it anyways, because you think that for that moment it’ll be fun, there’s like this thing that you don’t know what you exactly want, after drinking alcohol, but you do drink it anyways. It usually ends up in puking, passing out and doing the craziest things. That’s what loving somebody you know you can’t have is like. You know your not the “Meant to be ones” or the chance of you getting together could be there. You’re friends or acquaintance’s… and you’ll probably stay like that because that person is already in love with someone else. But you go on, loving them to such an extent you never even knew you were capable off. And it tears you apart, spoils many of your days, but you won’t stop, cause it’s an addiction, a bad one. But you just do, and you don’t even know why. 

Him:  I know how you feel about me, but let's be friends? Cause it won't be right. You deserve better...
Her:  Right. Yeah. Sure, its perfect. :)  ( Do you know the blow you get after this? Its like, every fiber in your body is breaking. You wanna tell him, that you don't want better, you want him, his bad, his love. Friends? No. You want to kiss him, feel him. Memorize every curve of him. Love him with all you got, you already do, but you'll keep loving him. People will say he is no good. Its because you'll find someone better. In time, you gotta wait. You don't want to wait, when your so close to having what will give a life time happiness. Because when your with him, you feel different. Different like in inexplicable. Something you don't feel with others, a feeling, a moment you don't wanna lose. But you won't tell him any of this, cause your scared to lose him as a friend. So you say its fine, its OK. But it never is. And never will be. Because you CRAVE him. And you die a little inside, every time you see him, wait... little? You die with every part of you. You don't feel anything, for anyone else except him. And it's crazy cause you know he will never accept you. It's never gonna be you. But still, you'll hang on. Yeah, that's how torturing it is. It sucks )

Having a crush is like…

When you see him, at School or at some place else or at a party or just anywhere… you feel this super conscious feeling, not of what others are thinking of you but what he does. And its a thousand times harder the feeling about being insecure of what others think of  you. You don’t directly look at him, but you can feel his presence. His laugh, his voice, what he does… its all there. You’ll be talking and laughing with your friends but, thats least of your concerns at that very moment. You want to look good for him, you want him to be like, “Damn! That girl… who is she? she’s so chill!” Thats what you want! And your heart beats a little faster everytime you look at him or you catch him looking at you, and you over analyze every little thing he does or says… Everything. And you just want to be his, and your heart kinda tells you that it could be possible, and thats when you just lose it, and fall in love… and most of the times, you give yourself to him, and they will leave you behind, and the worst.. you’re heart will still belong to them!